September 11th
11:57 pm on Thursday, Sept. 11, 2003

September 11th

This is a day to not forget

A day that caused so many pain

I try to focus on the good to come

On what is left to build, to gain

On what is left to claim

A rainbow of opportunities

And a pot full of gold

They are as real as the people who try to steal them

Before they are even mine

Tomorrow is a new day

Every moment another chance

Choose wisely.

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the attack on the World Trade Center Buildings on September 11, 2001. I remember watching the 2nd attack on television, the 2nd building being hit…it was a shock to my system…I couldn’t believe it, it didn’t seem real. Then all of a sudden it was too real and I wanted to turn it off, tune it out, make it go away. But I couldn’t…it was real, and it happened, and there was nothing I could do to change that. I tried to blame myself, but no one is to blame…the horrific happenings that day are beyond explanation, beyond excuse, beyond blame. As I said in a previous entry…I can only move forward not backward in time.

I saw my counselor today, and it was a very good meeting. I was tired though throughout the meeting, and at times was easily confused. She liked my work I did on the assignment she gave me from last week. She gave me some papers and I will look at those throughout the week until our next appointment.

Tomorrow I will probably go to Nikki’s house in the afternoon. That is great…I love spending time with Nikki…she is my best friend. She understands me a lot more than everybody else. I remember thinking after Rachel B. I would never have another best friend…I guess I was wrong! Nikki I lub you! You are the best!

I gotta stop eating so much…I’ve been stuffing my face like I’m in an eating contest or something. The Topamax isn’t gonna help me lose weight if I keep eating like that. Okay, here’s the deal…I will start right now to cut down on what I eat…let’s see if I can do it…LOL I should start smoking again…when I smoke I’m not as hungry LOL I should get some cigs off Nikki…that would help…then I wouldn’t get so agitated.

Okay, I’m outta here…catch ya later! RACH

back & forth

good night - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
Shine - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
casey at the bat - Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005
Never Been Happier - Tuesday, May. 03, 2005
end of hiatus - Monday, Apr. 11, 2005

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