I need you now
12:43 am on Monday, Aug. 30, 2004

You’re all I need

But when I call your name

All you do is flee

I’m not ugly

But I’m no beauty queen

I’m not the walrus, not a stick

But somewhere in between

Could you fall for a girl like me?

Could I ever be your fantasy?

I’m a little older, I know that’s true

But what’s that got to do with me and you

If I could win your love I wouldn’t let you down

But until then let’s have some fun, maybe a night on the town

Or let’s keep giving sideway glances

When they’re not looking, take our chances

All I want is a moment alone

Or a chance to call you on the phone

I need you now, you’re all I need

And it’s just for you, my poor heart bleeds

--

I like writing, especially poetry, it helps me sort out my feelings, my frustrations, my joys, and my woes. Writing is like an outlet…and every time I write I just get better and better! Don’t you agree? : P I remember taking writing classes at Messiah College. I loved it because I could be creative and get credit for it; I hated it because people told me what was wrong with my writing and sometimes I got a grade that I felt was less than what I deserved. I had fun though, and it really taught me a lot about writing and what and what not to do. I remember writing the non-fiction piece “Going Home,” which was about a girl who was leaving a mental hospital after having made a suicide attempt and instead of going to any of numerous places she could have gone, she was going home. The story had a different name and was in third person, but it was about me. I still remember being at Hershey Medical Center when I was only 19 and praying desperately for my life. I was so young…too young to die. Why oh why had I taken those forty ibuprofens? Five minutes after I had downed them, I came to my senses, and dialed the number of my counselor. After that, I tried to throw up, unsuccessfully, and then waited with my friend Laura, scared so badly that I was shaking. My counselor took me to the local hospital near the college but they couldn’t help me there so I had to be taken by ambulance to Hershey Medical center. It was a long bumpy ride there and all I could keep thinking was that I didn’t want to die. I was too young… At the hospital, I signed some forms and then they took me to the intensive care unit (ICU). They hooked me up to an IV bag for treatment and to some monitors to monitor my condition. I was in there for three whole days before I went to the mental health unit. The first night was the worst. I was in a strange place with complete strangers, and no one came to see me until the second day. I prayed to God in thanks for getting me help and I vowed that I would never attempt suicide again. I would never let it get that far…if it got even close, I would seek help. Things got better from that night…life wasn’t perfect, but then it never was, and I didn’t really expect it to be. But I don’t wish that on anyone, the experience of having almost died. But anyone who has ever gone through something like that will tell you it is something that you never ever forget. Thanks for listening! RACH

back & forth

good night - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
Shine - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
casey at the bat - Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005
Never Been Happier - Tuesday, May. 03, 2005
end of hiatus - Monday, Apr. 11, 2005

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