Sick and tired
I'm tired, hot, and feel sick to my stomach...is there something wrong with this picture here? And I'm not talking in a metaphorical sense...I really feel this way. Could it be love? LOL I doubt it. Life will get better though...I'll feel better soon and though it'll never quite go back to the way things were...my life hasn't reached the point where it is void of all hope, of all hapiness, of all the success I could ever want.
I gotta stop sleeping all the time...it's like my security blanket...well one of 'em anyways. I sleep to block out the world around me..the world that seems to taunt me and make fun of me and drive me mad, in more ways than one. I cant believe the stuff that Nik. was saying to me today...I hope she's okay...she's like my best friend...I can't wait til I get my first check and we can go shopping together and maybe I can treat her to lunch. I miss her and spending time with her...she calls, but it's just not the same....I want to be there for her...although sometimes its so hard when I just need someone to be there for me. I dont know why I let what people say bother me, esp. people I dont even know...but one guy in particular said something quite disturbing to me. He must have looked at my picture on my profile and then he said, "If that's what a real woman is, I'd rather have a fake one." But enough of those depressing thoughts...I'll just place in my mind that this is going to be a good day, a good week, a good month. If I can convince myself of that, and I can smile more, maybe my smile wil multiply itself onto the faces of the people around me. And that, my friend, is an accomplishment worth achieving.