How stupid could I be?
9:36 am on Monday, Sept. 06, 2004

How stupid could I be

You’re the only one I can see

As I flirt with those guys on the net

You’re the one I cannot forget

They’re bodies are so hot

But their names I forgot

The only name I remember is yours

I want to get you behind closed doors

I wish you loved me

Is it only a fantasy

That we could be together

No matter the state of the weather

Could I be falling for you

Is there anything I could do

To make you love me

How stupid could I be

--

Why do I keep thinking that I could get Alex to love me? Maybe it’s because I’m so obsessed with him that it has blinded me to reality. I’ve never really lived in reality…I’ve always lived in a fantasy world…a world that plays by my rules and my beliefs. Why can’t I see that he could never love me? Or could he? Who knows. Do I even give a damn? Well…yeah, duh. I want him to love me, like I love him. Even if he liked me…that would be good too.

I’ve been working again on my business…I did some brainstorming last night. I got some really good ideas. Like instead of trying to get my play on Broadway I could have a theater/skate park built for it. I would have to raise money to do that though. I would need a lot of money to do it. I also want to do self-publishing…publish my own books.

So as you can see I have a lot of plans…will they ever become reality? Only time will tell. RACH

back & forth

good night - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
Shine - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
casey at the bat - Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005
Never Been Happier - Tuesday, May. 03, 2005
end of hiatus - Monday, Apr. 11, 2005

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