I�m getting together with Bill sometime, probably next week. Getting together as in sleeping together. I�ll be honest when I was �seeing� him last year, it was pretty much to have sex. We�re both adults, we both enjoy it, the only problem is I don�t really see it going any further than that. I really don�t want to have a serious relationship with someone twenty years older than me anyway. Some people might call it being promiscuous, and I know there�s a lot of good in waiting until marriage. It�s virtuous and it�s the safest sex there is. Yet, I have chosen to be this way, and I�m not sorry about it. I may be a little bit ashamed, but that�s nothing new. I�ve always been ashamed of my body, and anything having to do with the body. Maybe having sex is my way of loving my body, and knowing that someone else loves my body too is a good feeling. I always feel so fat and ugly, and when Bill wants to make love with me, it takes away from those feelings. He makes me feel beautiful and sexy.
And the best of thing of all is knowing that no matter what I do or how I feel, God loves me. And He loves you too. RACH
good night - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
Shine - Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005
casey at the bat - Thursday, Aug. 11, 2005
Never Been Happier - Tuesday, May. 03, 2005
end of hiatus - Monday, Apr. 11, 2005
